


What's in a Name

by LonelyThursday



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, Cats, Deceit | Janus Sanders is a Gay Disaster, Family, Gen, Kid Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Sweetheart, Pre-Canon, Pre-Episode: Accepting Anxiety, Remus being Remus, but thats how he is in canon soooo, hes being an asshole to the dark sides, hes not that bad i swear, momceit, slightly unsympathetic roman, somewhat graphic threats against animals, that he takes back later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26394412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LonelyThursday/pseuds/LonelyThursday
Summary: The Light Sides wake up one morning to find that they're in a bit of a...hairysituation To make matters worse, a monster isdefinitelycoming down the stairs right now
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton
Comments: 5
Kudos: 214





	What's in a Name

**Author's Note:**

> I asked Tumblr if they'd prefer a momceit fic or a patton/virgil/janus/remus fic, and they overwhelmingly picked momceit (but don't worry, Patton will get his goth, emo, and punk boyfriends eventually)

_Well this is an interesting development,_ Logic thinks to himself as he watches Creativity stalk around the room, inspecting every nook and cranny as if the Dark Sides are going to be lurking in between the books in the bookcase. 

This morning — five minutes ago to be precise — Logic, Morality, and Creativity awoke on the couch in the Dark Side’s common room. To make matters worse, the three of them had been transformed into cats. Creativity was a pure white Persian, Morality was a soft gray Scottish Fold, and Logic himself was a Siamese. 

There hadn’t been any sign of any Dark Sides lurking nearby, nor any indication as to how the three Light Sides had ended up here as cats, but Creativity still insisted on inspecting their surroundings. Logic was fine with letting him, and instead preferred to make his observations from the relative safety of the couch before expanding out to the room beyond. Morality, it seemed, was not too concerned about anything other than the fact that he was a cat, preferring to groom himself and bouncing around the couch cushions excitedly. 

_“My brother is behind this! I know he is! This foul trick has his name written all over it!”_ Creativity hisses. Interestingly enough, Logic can understand him perfectly despite the fact that Creativity is speaking in cat language, and Logic had not known cat language before this point. 

And Logic has to disagree with his hypothesis that The Duke is behind this. The Duke may be chaotic and impulsive, but this ‘prank’ is far too harmless to be his style. They are not in any immediate danger despite being in unfamiliar territory, there is no trace of gore, nothing R-rated about any of this really. It’s Logic’s opinion that the perpetrator of this predicament is not Creativity’s ‘twin’. 

But Logic isn’t about to tell Creativity that. Creativity will get there on his own, given time. 

_“Isn’t this cool, Logic?”_ Morality bounces. _“We’re_ adorable, _and so cuddly! Do you want to cuddle, Logic?”_

_“This is not_ fun, _Morality!”_ Creativity chides from his position inspecting the coffee table. _“We are in_ enemy _territory! We could be attacked at any minute!”_

_“What’s going to attack cats as cute as us?”_ Morality asks, innocently. 

A subtle clicking — somewhat reminiscent of someone walking in heels, but not quite — comes from the top of the stairs and Morality’s question seems to be answered as _something_ comes their way. 

Creativity strikes a protective stance against whatever is coming down the stairs. Logic, too, feels a bit of apprehension about whatever is coming their way as it clearly isn’t something walking on human legs, though it _does_ sound like it is _something_ that is _walking_ down the stairs. 

Morality clearly does not share his companions’ concerns as he skips past Creativity and bounds towards the stairs to greet whatever is coming down. Creativity hisses a warning at him, but it falls on deaf ears. 

Morality makes it to the stairs and looks up to greet the thing coming down, but as soon as he sets eyes on it, his posture changes from excited to terrified. 

_“SPIDER!”_ He squeaks as he shoots back past Creativity and scrambles under the couch. 

_Spider?_ Logic thinks. _How can a spider make such a loud noise?_

His questions are answered a second later as a rather large, rather spidery form reaches the bottom of the stairs. 

“Kitty?” It asks. 

A second glance proves that it is not, in fact, a giant spider, but rather a young boy - maybe about five - that happens to have four rather large spider legs protruding from his back that he seems to be able to walk with. On his spider legs, the boy’s human legs dangle about a foot and a half off the ground, making his total height around five feet, shorter than any of them are in their regular forms, but significantly taller than them as cats. 

Other than the four spider legs, and the six smaller black spider eyes underneath his regular human eyes, the boy looks about the same as Thomas did at that age, with a few differences here and there that every Side has, such as the fact that his hair is purple, and has heterochromia, making one eye green, and the other inhumanly purple. Either way, it’s clear that this boy is a Side. And a rather new Side at that. 

Logic doesn’t remember another Side forming, but he supposes that if this Side started out in the Dark Side, Deceit likely wouldn’t have informed them of his existence. 

“Kitty?” The boy asks again. He looks around the room and seems to catch sight of Logic and Creativity for the first time. “Thwee kitties!”

Despite the obvious excitement in his face, the boy’s voice stays calm and quiet, as if he’s making a conscious effort not to scare them. _Interesting behavior for a child._

_“Begone foul creature!”_ Creativity hisses at the new Side even though the boy can’t understand him. 

Logic just watches him curiously. They don’t know who he is or what function he serves, but as he’s just a child, it’s unlikely that he is of any threat to the three of them, even in cat form. 

The boy looks startled by Creativity’s hostilities, and seems to realize for the first time that he’s standing on four long spider legs rather than his two human ones. 

“Sowwy,” he says softly as he slowly lowers himself onto his human legs and folds his spider legs up against his back. For a second, Logic thinks the legs will just rest against his back, but the legs actually fade all together, and a moment later, the extra eyes do too. 

_Curious._ Logic knows that Deceit has snake scales that cover a large area of his skin, and The Duke has tentacles that can solidify into arms and legs when he wants to, but he doesn’t know of either of them being able to hide their animal traits completely. _Perhaps it is unique to this Side._

Creativity continues to take an aggressive stance, so the boy carefully gives him a wide berth as he makes his way over to the couch. 

_“Stay away from them!”_ Creativity growls as the boy slowly peaks under the couch. 

“I’m sowwy I scawed you, kitty,” the Side apologizes to Morality. “Cweativity says my spidew wegs are cweepy, and I know not evewyone wikes cweepy.”

_“I have never seen this Side in my_ life!” Creativity huffs dramatically. 

_“I believe he means your brother,”_ Logic sighs. It comes out as an audible _meow,_ drawing the boy’s attention to Logic, the only cat that doesn’t seem disturbed by his presence. 

“Hewwo,” the boy says to Logic. The boy blinks once, slowly _“I love you.”_

Logic’s brain stutters at the admission. The boy had, of course, probably just learned somewhere that that was how to show affection to a cat, and didn’t _not_ mean to say that he loved Logic, but still…

Logic returns the gesture. _“I love you.”_

_“LOGIC!”_ Creativity yowls. 

The boy ignores him in favor of extending his hand towards Logic. Logic flinches a little and the boy stops moving his hand. The hand is a few inches from Logic, palm down, close enough that Logic could easily stretch his head out to touch it, but far enough away to not be in his personal space. 

After a moment, Logic stretches his neck out in order to sniff the proffered hand. The boy stays perfectly still, watching Logic carefully, hope shining in his eyes. Instincts take over and Logic licks the boy’s fingers before nuzzling his head against the hand. _“I trust you.”_

The boy gasps, delighted. 

_“LOGIC!”_ Creativity yowls again, and again, he is ignored. 

“You’we a nice kitty, awen’t you?” The boy asks as he starts moving his fingers to scratch at Logic’s head. 

Logic can’t help but move his head, trying to maximize the pleasant contact. _“Please never stop petting me.”_

Being a cat must be different than being a Side. Usually, Logic isn’t overly affectionate, and is often uncomfortable with the casual contact Morality and Creativity often initiate, but as a cat, Logic can’t seem to get enough contact. 

“Oh!” The boy exclaims in shock, his fingers stutter over Logic’s head for a moment before returning to their previous rhythm. “Hewwo.”

Logic opens his eyes to find that Morality has left the protection of the bottom side of the couch in favor of sitting directly in the boy’s lap. The boy offers his free hand to Morality the same way he had with Logic, but Morality skips sniffing it and goes straight for head-butting his hand. 

_“I’m sorry I was scared of you, kiddo, you’re not scary.”_

_“Morality! Not you too!”_ Creativity laments. Logic honestly can’t see what issue Creativity could possibly have with the young Side. He gave _fantastic_ scratchies, why would _anyone_ have a problem with him?

Vaguely, Logic registers the sounds of footsteps coming down the stairs, but he’s much too preoccupied with the boy petting him to really care. 

_“Halt foul snake!”_ Creativity hisses. 

Logic flinches as he finally registers that a second Dark Side has entered the common room, but is quickly calmed and distracted by the boy continuing to pet him. 

“Anxiety,” Deceit says, sounding a mixture of amused and concerned. “Where did you find these cats?”

“Mama! They was in the wiving woom when I came down!” The boy - Anxiety? - says happily. “These two is nice! That one’s mean. Can we keep them?”

Creativity huffs indignantly. _“We’re not pets!”_

Deceit chuckles. “You even want to keep the mean one?”

Anxiety nods seriously. “He’s theiw fwiend.” He says, as if that is reason enough to keep a cat that clearly doesn’t like him. 

Deceit chuckles again, and somewhere in the back of Logic’s mind he realizes that he’s never seen Deceit be this genuinely nice to _anyone,_ even The Duke. 

“We can’t keep them until we try to find their owners, my little spiderling.” Anxiety’s face drops in disappointment. 

“They have ownews?” He asks quietly, hands stilling. 

_“No, no, we’re all yours!”_ Morality purrs, headbutting Anxiety’s hand so he’ll continue petting them. 

_“MORALITY!”_ Creativity hisses. He’s moved fully under the coffee table in order to best protect himself against the two Dark Sides. 

“They might,” Deceit answers gently, pulling one glove off and holding his naked hand up seriously. “I’ll go ask the neighbors after breakfast, but if the cats aren’t theirs then I promise you can keep them.” 

“Yay!” Anxiety yells loudly, startling Logic for a moment. Morality doesn’t seem at all perturbed as he continues to push into Anxiety’s hand. 

“What’s the shortstack cheering about?” The Duke asks as he suddenly appears by the television. “Did my brother bite the dust? Or maybe Thomas has finally decided to go to Walmart wearing nothing but a speedo!”

Creativity hisses at him. 

“CATS!” The Duke gasps. “Ooh we can peel their skin off to see their muscles and internal organs and just peel them apart piece by piece until they’re just a kitty cat skeleton!”

Morality flinches at the idea. 

“NOOOOO!” Anxiety screeches, suddenly pulling Logic and Morality as close to his chest as he can. “NONONONONONO!”

It takes Logic perhaps a little too long to realize that Anxiety, true to his name, is having an anxiety attack, but his air is rather restricted at the moment so you can’t really blame him. 

Anxiety’s breathing is shallow, and labored as he inhales and exhales around his screams; black tears run down his face, and a few drip onto Logic’s head, probably staining his cream fur gray; and he’s shaking violently and uncontrollably. And being in his death grip, Logic is quite uncomfortable, and Morality seems to be panicking almost as much as Anxiety is. 

**“NONONONONONONO!”**

“Fix this!” Deceit hisses at Dark Creativity. 

Dark Creativity seems to stumble over himself for a second before deciding on a course of action. He slides to the ground in front of Anxiety, which only causes the young Side to grip the cats tighter. 

“Hey, uh, Anxy?” He asks, uncharacteristically soft for him. “I was just joking, I’m not gonna hurt the cats, I swear.”

“You’re- you’re not?” Anxiety sniffles, tears never slowing, but his breathing evens out a little bit. 

“I’m not,” The Duke promises. 

“Pink pwomise?” Anxiety asks, tears finally stopping. 

“Double pinky promise!” The Duke declares, holding out his hand that seems to have two pinky fingers on it. Logic’s pretty sure the hand only had one pinky finger a moment ago. 

Anxiety giggles and lets go of Logic so that he can wrap one of his pinkies around both of The Duke’s. “No take backs.”

“None at all, else penalty of death!” The Duke crows happily. “So do the cats have names?”

“He can’t name the cats until we figure out where they came from!” Deceit scolds from the kitchen where he’s preparing breakfast. “We don’t want him to get too attached!”

“Of course not!” The Duke yells back before dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “But do they have names?”

Anxiety giggles and answers just as quietly. “This one is Wogan!” He says, running a hand from Logic’s head all the way down his body. 

Logic blinks slowly, then closes his eyes and pushes his head into Anxiety’s hand. _“This is acceptable.”_

“This one is Patton!” 

_“I love it, kiddo!”_ Morality - Patton - purrs even harder than he already had been. 

“And that one's Woman!” The Duke turns to look at the Persian cat underneath the coffee table. Creativity hisses as soon as The Duke makes eye contact. 

“Not very friendly is he?” The Duke asks. “I’m not allowed to hurt him either?”

“Nope!” Anxiety declares happily. 

“Breakfast!” Deceit calls from the kitchen. “Don’t bring the cats to the table!”

Anxiety pouts, but he does as the older Side instructs and leaves Patton and Logan on the couch. “I’ll be wight back.”

_“Take your time, kiddo! Eating a healthy breakfast is important!”_ Patton meows after him. 

_“Are you two_ insane!?” Roman hisses as soon as Anxiety and The Duke are gone. _“We aren’t_ pets! _We can’t just live here as his cats forever!”_

_“I believe Roman is right,”_ Logan concedes. _“We cannot fulfill our functions in this manor, which would be very detrimental to Thomas.”_

_“But Anxiety loves us,”_ Patton pouts at the same time Roman hisses _“that’s not my name!”_

_“Regardless of Anxiety’s feelings, we must put Thomas’s well-being first. It is our job, after all,”_ Even as Logan says it, a funny feeling fills his stomach. He hypothesizes the source to be guilt over taking away the cats that Anxiety so clearly loves, but there’s nothing he can do. They are Sides, not cats, and they have functions they must maintain to keep Thomas alive and happy, and Thomas is _always_ their first priority. 

_“But Anxiety will be so sad if we just disappear,”_ Patton continues to protest, but Logan can see in his eyes that he knows Logan is right. 

_“Who cares what Anxiety thinks?”_ Roman snorts. _“He’s not our_ friend! _He is one of_ them, _a bad guy. He may be a child now, but anxiety is a_ bad _thing. It ruins creative whimsy, prevents people from going after opportunities, and is an all-around bummer! We shouldn’t be nice_ _to the source of misery!”_

Patton begins to cry in earnest now, loud pathetic mewls leaving his mouth as he does. 

“-I’ll go check.” Someone says from the dining room. 

_“Someone is coming,”_ Logan warns, causing Roman to tense, but Patton doesn’t stop crying. 

“What’s wrong, kitty?” Deceit walks into the room, crouching carefully in front of the couch. 

Roman hisses and darts back under the coffee table. 

“Is he mean to you?” Deceit rubs a gloved finger against Patton’s head comfortingly. “Where did you come from, hmm? The imagination? Surely you’re not Creativity’s creations, but maybe the _other_ Creativity? Or do the Light Sides keep cats now?”

Deceit continues to rub at Patton’s head, and eventually, the moral Side relaxes into the touch. 

“I’ll have to give you back, won’t I? The Light Sides hate us enough without us stealing their cats… Anxiety is going to be so disappointed.” Deceit sighs, pushing himself up into standing position. “It can _totally_ be helped, I suppose. _I_ can _definitely_ conjure convincingly lifelike cats, and Creativity has a knack for creating… _child-friendly_ creatures.”

Deceit continues to mutter to himself as he makes his way back to the breakfast table with the other Dark Sides. 

_“At least he’s taking us back to our side,”_ Roman grumbles as Deceit walks away. 

_“There is still the problem that when he goes to the Light Side, he will not find anyone,”_ Logan points out as he begins grooming himself, stopping a moment later to ponder _that_ instinct. 

_“I don’t want to go!”_ Patton whines. 

_“I am sorry, Patton,”_ Logan apologizes. He decides to just give into his instincts and begins grooming Patton instead. _“But the best thing for Thomas is for us to be back in our proper place, in our proper forms.”_

“Can I go wiff you to the Wight Side?” Anxiety asks, alerting the Light Sides to the approaching Dark Sides. 

“I’m sorry, Anxiety,” Deceit says. “But I would prefer you not meet _them_ yet.”

“Why?” Anxiety asks. He returns to his previous seat by the couch, and absentmindedly starts petting Patton when the Moral Side climbs back into his lap. 

“Because the neighbors can be…” Deceit pauses to consider his next words. 

Logan finds himself very curious to see what Deceit thinks of them. He’s never thought about it before. He views Deceit as a necessary attribute, but as a Side, Logan finds him to be overly dramatic and difficult to deal with. He views The Duke as a harmless nuisance as the Side has no real control over Thomas’s actions, only some thoughts, but he knows that Patton and Roman view him much more harshly. He’s never stopped to consider how the Dark Sides view them in return. 

“...mean,” Deceit finally says. 

Patton visibly deflates, no doubt hurt that he hasn’t been as nice to the Dark Sides as he could have been.

_“SLANDER!”_ Roman hisses. 

“Oh,” Anxiety says quietly. He stares at Patton, still seated in his lap, before turning back to the older Side. “Then why awe we giving them theiw cats back?”

“Don’t poke sleeping bears,” is all Deceit says. 

_“Always_ poke sleeping bears!” The Duke insists. “They get super mad and try to bite your hand off! It’s fun!”

Anxiety stares at The Duke with a mixture of fear and nausea. 

“Thank you, Creativity,” Deceit drawls. “That was _very_ helpful.”

“Do the Wight Sides bite?” Anxiety demands nervously, looking frantically between the two older Sides. 

“Only when they’re being k-”

Deceit snaps and one of The Dukes hands flies up to cover his mouth, effectively cutting off whatever he was about to say.

“No, darling,” he sits on the ground and opens his arms. Anxiety considers the offer for a moment before removing Patton from his lap and snuggling up as close to Deceit as he can. “It was a figure of speech. The Light Sides do not bite.”

“But they’we mean,” Anxiety says quietly. 

Deceit suddenly has four more arms that he wraps around Anxiety. 

Logan startles. He hadn’t realized that Deceit had six arms. Perhaps he should try spending more time with the Dark Sides as there were clearly several things about them that he was unaware of. 

“So am I,” Deceit hums. Personally, Logan isn’t sure how that is supposed to be reassuring, but Anxiety seems to think it is. 

“You’ww be back?”

“Of course, spiderling.”

“Okay,” Anxiety whispers. He pulls away from the hug and immediately runs upstairs, never looking back at the cats. 

Deceit watches him go with a sigh. “Why did you have to come here?” He asks the cats rhetorically. 

_“Sorry,”_ Patton tries to say, but Deceit only hears a _meow._

Deceit sighs again before scooping Patton up with one pair of hands. “Let’s just get this over with, shall we?”

He grabs Logan with a second pair of hands, and finally grabs Roman with the third pair. Roman struggles, but Deceit keeps a tight grip on him. 

Logan is smarter than Roman. While Roman struggles and ensures that Deceit has a tight grip on him, Logan fully allows Deceit to carry him, lulling the lying Side into a false sense of security. As soon as Deceit enters the Light Side of the Mindscape, Logan makes his move. 

With his cat agility and flexibility, he pushes off of Deceits chest, easily breaking the unsuspecting Dark Side’s hold, and darts towards the stairs as quickly as he can, making it to the top before Deceit finally registers what had just happened and starts yelling after him. 

“What the- GET BACK HERE!”

Logan ignores him as he runs for his room, theorizing that he’ll be able to change himself back into his own domain. 

The door gives him slight pause as he realizes that he’s unable to open it — only mentally though, physically, he’s still running straight towards it. Luckily, the door responds to him, and a cat-flap that he’s quite sure has never been there before opens allowing him entrance. 

Almost immediately, Logan is back in his proper form, necktie and all. _Just as I suspected._

After a quick look in the mirror to make sure that he is fully presentable, Logan sinks out to the common room where he can still hear Deceit yelling after him. 

“Deceit,” Logan appears behind Deceit, causing the lying Side to startle, and involuntary hiss escaping his lips as he quickly spins to face the newcomer. 

Logan makes sure to give him a suitably surprised yet reserved look, as if he had been unaware that Deceit was in the common room. 

Roman takes advantage of Deceit’s shock to escape his grasp as Logan had earlier. Roman runs for the stairs, but this time, Deceit just lets him, choosing to focus on Logan instead. 

The Dark Side is quick to retract his extra arms, and mask his surprise with indifference, and Logan politely doesn’t mention either. 

“We _didn’t_ find these on our Side and we _weren’t_ wondering if they were yours,” Deceit sneers, holding Patton out towards Logan as if the cat disgusted him, though Logan is well aware of the lie. 

“They are, thank you,” Logan says, accepting Patton from Deceit. “Creativity and Morality have been searching for them in the imagination all day.”

Patton squirms in Logan’s arms until Logan allows him to climb onto his shoulder. 

Deceit’s eyes narrow, and Logan realizes, a little too late, that Deceit can tell when someone’s lying. “There should have been three cats.”

“The third cat _didn’t_ run away as soon as we got here, and _isn’t_ lurking around here somewhere,” Deceit answers, mercifully letting the lie go

“Well thank you for returning them, Deceit, it was very decent of you,” Logan says. He thinks the comment is innocuous, but Deceit immediately goes on the defensive. 

“Right, because the bessst we can do is _desssssscent,”_ he hisses, his snake features becoming more pronounced with his aggravation. “Heaven _forbid_ we ever do anything nisssssce.”

“I did not mean-”

“Goodbye, Logic. It’sss been _sssso_ much fun.” Deceit sinks out before Logan can respond. 

“I suppose that that did not go as well as I had hoped,” Logan says to Patton. 

Patton meows and licks Logan’s nose. 

Logan blinks. “You are aware that I know that you are not a cat, correct?”

Patton meows again. 

“Is he gone?” Roman calls as he comes bounding down the stairs, back to his normal self. 

“Yes, Roman, Deceit has left.”

“Okay, first of all Teach, just because Anxiety called me that doesn’t mean it’s my name. Second of all…”

Patton jumps off Logan's shoulder and makes his way to his room, at a slower pace than either of the others had gone. 

He has so much to do. 

~~~

Deceit does his best to school his features before returning to the Dark Sides’ common room. It would do no good for Anxiety to see him upset. He doesn’t want Anxiety to be afraid of the Light Sides, doesn’t want them to have that power over him already. 

Once he’s got his face under control, he enters the common room. He’s greeted by the sight of Creativity sitting criss cross on the couch, Anxiety in his lap. Both of them are clearly waiting for him. 

Anxiety’s eyes fill with tears as soon as he sees Deceit some back without the cats. Creativity frowns. 

“They belonged to the boring Sides?” Creativity asks with a pout. 

Deceit nods. He makes his way over to the couch to pick up the now sobbing Anxiety from Creativity’s lap. 

“I’m sorry, spiderling.” Deceit says, wrapping all six arms around the child. 

Anxiety wraps his arms around Deceits neck, and seconds later, four spider legs wrap around the rest of him. 

Hours later, after Anxiety has finally settled down for his nap, and Creativity has gone to the imagination to vent his anger at hapless figments, there’s a knock at the door. 

Deceit stares at the door for a moment in shock. No one’s ever knocked before. No one _visits_ them. The Light Sides _hate_ them, and even if they did want to visit, they’d never deign to _knock._

Another knock. 

Deceit shakes himself out of his thoughts to answer the door. 

It’s Morality. He gives Deceit a wide and genuine grin, while hiding something behind his back. 

“Hi Deceit!” He greets, bouncing on his toes with barely contained excitement. 

“Morality, I was _definitely_ expecting you.” Deceit says, feinting nonchalantness. 

“I wanted to thank you for bringing the cats back! So I made you something!”

“Yes I _obviously_ require payment for being nice, thank you.” Deceit rolls his eyes, he doesn’t _need_ anything from them, and honestly, he doesn’t _want_ anything from them. He’d prefer to just move on from this debacle and never think about it again. 

“It’s not _payment,”_ Morality grins like Deceit had been telling a joke. “It’s a gift! For you! Because you’re _paw_ -sitively _purrrrr-_ fect!”

Morality shoves a cat-shaped pillow in Deceit’s face, and all he can do is blink at it stupidly. 

“I made you three!” Morality continues. “One for each cat!”

Deceit takes the proffered pillow — gray with bright blue eyes, like the nice cat — and Morality pulls out two more pillows that resemble the other two cats. 

“That’s- um…” For once, Deceit’s silver tongue is failing him. He has no idea what to say. 

“Mama?”

_Not now,_ Deceit begs internally. _Why does Anxiety have to choose_ now _to wake up?_

Anxiety approaches normally, but Deceit can tell the _second_ he sees Morality, because he quickly ducks behind Deceit’s legs. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Morality says gently as he lowers himself to his knees so that he’s level with the young Side. “I just wanted to thank your mama for returning my cats earlier. I _cat_ tell you how happy I was to have them back, so as a thank you, I made these _purr_ -fect pillows, would you like one?”

“That’s the same joke twice,” Deceit mutters, but Morality ignores him. 

Morality holds out the Siamese pillow to Anxiety. Anxiety looks up at Deceit, and Deceit — unable to see how this could possibly be a trap — nods. 

Anxiety quickly snatches the pillow from Morality and hugs it close to his chest. 

“Thank you,” he mumbles. 

Morality smiles. “No problem, kiddo. It’s the _fleece_ I can do.”

Anxiety lets out a giggle, and Morality’s grin grows

“A fan of jokes I see! Well then, why did the chicken cross the road?”

“Why?” Anxiety asks quietly, voice muffled slightly by the pillow. 

“To get to the other _Sides!”_ Anxiety stares blankly at him, and Deceit smirks at the failed joke. “No? How about, what’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?”

“What?”

“ _Boo-_ berries!”

That one gets another giggle

Morality grins and holds out the third pillow. “You can have this one, too, if you want it.”

Anxiety doesn’t even look at Deceit for approval this time before he grabs pillow from Morality and attempts to hold both as close to his chest as possible. 

“Anxiety,” Deceit says as Morality straightens up. “Why don’t you go show Creativity your new pillows?”

“Okay!” The kid cheers, taking off without another word, two cat pillows in tow. 

“Thank you, Morality,” Deceit says once Anxiety is gone. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know I didn’t _have_ to,” Morality smiles. “I _wanted_ to! So I did.”

“I will admit, I’m not sure what to do when receiving a gift,” Deceit admits, surprised at his own honestly. 

“Well I’ll just have to fix that, won’t I?” Morality says brightly. He pulls Deceit into a tight hug, but lets go before he can even _begin_ to process _that._ “Bye Dee! I’ll see you later!”

And then he’s gone. Leaving Deceit standing in the doorway clutching a soft gray cat pillow. 

_Fuck, I’m GAY!_

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't expecting the Moceit vibes, but Patton decided to drown Janus in affection, and I definitely couldn't stop him
> 
> Be Safe  
> Don't do anything Stupid  
> Wear a Mask  
> Black Live Matter  
> VOTE (if you're old enough)  
> Doing things you Enjoy is NOT wasting time


End file.
